New me, New blog and design:)

Its been a rather long time since my last update, I am in a more positive space now as I was previously. I want to update not only this 3 year old look and design of my Blog but also what I write about. Not sure when my last update was but I am sure it was before I got married and then gave birth to my amazing now 9 month old daughter Isabella, but do not worry as I will make sure you are up to date on everything in the Blogs to follow:) So much has changed in the past 3.5 years since I started blogging.I actually started as I wanted a way of releasing what was laying deep within me and my clouded mind. But as things are a lot more clear now I can write about more positive things. I will try update daily now with short blogs with one or two photo's. Time, Time heals all and reveals all. As times have changed as well as the circumstances in my life it will continue to do so, But I do intend on missing any moment of it as I share it all right here. I am positive, I am excited now..Excited to start writing again, excited to start sharing with you again, excited for the future and all the happiness it holds in store. My God is GREAT and almighty and I am blessed as a Child of our Lord Jesus

Eyes so heavy..

I am so tired & my eyes so heavy trying to work with a body thats just so weak.
Every reaction so slow to every action
everything so cloudy in my mind, unable to think, to concentrate..Could this be my insanity?

I only want this day to end, so close to breaking point. Who said I even wanted to open my eyes to start this crazy day?Sleep is where my sanity lays. Where I find my peace of mind, my clear view. There is no sadness,no hurt or pain.It is only me playing with the shadows of my mind.

I feel as though I have been losing myself, every day fading that much away.
My eyes so heavy,my mind so lazy..I think im going crazy..maybe if i could just close my eyes for a second paradise is what ill find where my heart and sould can be at rest..

Before you walk away and close that Door

This came out more so as a song than a poem.

Before you let me go...
I need to let you know...

I believe that you should think again...
Because I'm the one who's always been...

Right here for you...
The one to see you through...

I was there each time
you never knew...
just what it was
that you should do...

Still...

There I stood...

right beside you...

So...
Before you let me go...
I need to let you know...

I believe that you should think again...
Because I'm the one who let you in...
Over...
and over...
and over... again

And your silence now speaks loud and true
So much more
than a thousand words
could ever do...

And even when you didn't know
Exactly where your heart would go...
I cried with you...
And I tried with you;
And there were times I even lied for you...

And I always waited patiently
for the one thing in this life
that I knew I'd never get

A chance to finally call you mine,
Some way to leave the past behind...
But maybe it's not over yet...

So...

Before you let me go...
I need to let you know...

I believe that you should think again...
Because I'm the one who's always been...

Right here for you...
The one to see you through...

I was there each time
you never knew...
just what it was
that you should do...

Still...

There I stood...

right beside you...

So...
Before you let me go...
I need to let you know...

I believe that you should think again...
Because I'm the one who let you in...
Over...
and over...
and over... again

And your silence now speaks loud and true
So much more
than a thousand words
could ever do...

I want you to want me the way that I want you.

I want you to think about me as many times as I think about you.
I want you to miss me just as much as I miss you.
I want you to have a burning desire to be with me just as much as I want that with you.

I want you to kiss me and feel the way I do when I kiss you.
I want you to never have the desire to be without me just as much as I wish to never be without you.

I want you to have no desire to go to bed without me just as much as I would hate to go to bed without you.
I want you to not be able to sleep when Im late, or havent spoken to you just as much as I am not able to when you not close to me.
I want you to want my comfort,affection and love just as much as I want yours.

I want you to never have the desire to love another the way you love me...I wish you knew just how much I want to be with you,I hope some day you will feel this way for me.....Or maybe one day you will wake up missing me...

It feels as though im losing my best friend...

Dear Diary,

Today I feel as though I am lsing my best friend,The best thing thats has ever happened to me! I honestly cannot imagine my life without him, cant bear the thought of falling asleep alone again,having to wake up with no comforting arms around me.

I made the suggestion but wanted him to fight for me and say No, he cant live without me. he says he cant imagine his life without me, although he needs the time to be alone. He says absence makes the heart grow fonder, he said he feels as though he would appreciate me so much more...But how can you love a person and not want to near them as much?

Maybe not living together will do just what he hopes it will but maybe it will do just what I fear it will....How do I agree and not show my dissapointment,how do I prepare myself for the worst should it ever come to that? I feel as though this all is so unfair that I walked into this relationship knowing what I wanted and he went in knowing my thoughts and feelings only to crush them and break my heart cause he had no time to heal and be alone...Its me who is suffering now...


This will be the test, the final test....The final give it a go!!

Love finds the way:)

We so often vowel our undying love, we promise to always love that person through the good and the bad. But I ask myself today; just how much do we follow through on our word? As a result, romantic hopes are often replaced with disappointment in the home, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

We tend to eventually get bored in our relationships, we distance ourselves from our partners and the magic that once had brought two separate souls to unite has now disappeared and two people who are no willing to work at keeping that magic walk two separate roads once again.
Why is it so hard to put our faith in that person, why is it so hard to trust, why are you at the point of giving up when there is always hope and even more so when there is still love? If you are not married as of yet and you are going through this stage, ask yourselves how you will make it through the hard times in marriage. You are with a person for the rest of your life, you going to see them day in and day out, you going to get so mad at one another some days, you going to see one another at their worst stages, your sex life will not always be great and there may not always be adventures but what counts is that before you even get married or even if you are already that you remember what magic brought you together, what it felt like, remind yourself just how good it felt to be with or close to that person remember how hard it was to be apart. You need to keep the magic flowing, do small things, little gestures that have meaning and that will have a bigger impact on your loved ones ear and soul.

You need to remember that it’s not always about getting what you feel you deserve but it’s also about giving to your partner what they deserve. Giving them love, supporting them in everything and even at times when you may not think it’s the right thing or waste of money it’s what will at the end of the day make your partner happy, It’s about waking up early to make them breakfast, it’s about listening to them moan when they grumpy, It’s about letting them be who they are, they need to be comfortable with who thy are in front of you. This is a give and take-what you give is what you should get but never really expecting it-Balance is the key.

There is a reason you are at this point, but don’t give up-do what it takes to make it right. Learn to communicate and accept that relationships are not all hunky dory, or that easy but its about taking good with the bad and still making good come of it all because at the end of the day when you think of this all you will realise you cannot live without this person and you love them as they are for who they are as they accept you for who you are and as you are. Let go of any hurt that you may have from this relationship as well as previous relationships and move forward, together united as you will only realise what you had one its gone and that often too late. Don’t put your love in the same box as previous relationships, even if at times there may be something may influence you to feel that way, Every person is unique, every love is unique and every relationship is unique. Don’t always look at the bad but look at the good and create more to appreciate and you will mostly find that there is already so much to appreciate and that person who may make you angry at times and absolutely happy the next is really your everything and you are then incomplete without them, an empty shell so fragile and easily broken.

Love is what gives us strength, it’s what gives us the will.. It what in fact keeps you going!

Taking the time to remind those that they too are loved

We get so caught up in our everyday life. We get home and turn the Television or the Radio on, and barely speak a breath a word to the people we may live with, Our families or even our partners.
We distance ourselves from those who truly mean something to us &, who truly care as we think that they do understand just how our day went or the stresses we have been through during the course of our day never reminding ourselves that they too in fact have been through it too during the course of their own day, never remembering that they may need to talk about it instead we become self-centred and focus only on ourselves.
It is so sad really that we lose all communication with those who we love, we end up pushing them further and further away from us never remembering that they care enough to listen, that even just sitting there hearing one another complain our the day we had and even talking about the good things enable us to let a lot off our hearts, enables us to laugh about it all and most importantly just spend that time with that special person and just remind them that they too have something to smile about and have person who listens to them whether it may be good or bad.
Take the time in your evenings, In your morning or whenever you may have a free moment and sent a short email, short text msg or even a quick call to tell that special someone that they are loved and wanted in more ways than one everyday forever more.